HAYESOMANIA

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Shadowlands
Category: Music

Rare late night post from me..
not sure if many of you have noticed but I've tried to become a bit more of a morning person these days!
Even if I stay up late I'm still up earlier and it's been awesome.

I'm up late because I just got home from a dinner with Will (our monitoring engineer on tour) and Tracey Turner (my ex P.A whom I still adore).
We ate at a lovely French restaurant and had one of those amazing nights of laughing and feeling good and walking home on a high.

I know it's weird being sort of 'in between' albums, and perhaps confusing (maybe more so for me than you) since I'm 'away' but sort of around (Idol, DVD's etc)
But I wanted to say how much I adore you and also how much I'm appreciating this opportunity to experience life and all she has to offer. I know I only have you to thank for this.

I don't know if I remember many periods in the last decade where I felt like this. The last period was in Sausalito prior to 'The Tension and The Spark' and until recently no such windows have appeared. Until now.
I'm talking about moments where I get to look at the road ahead and I have no idea where I'm going but I know it's going to be alright.

I'm spending my days really productively – I still do musical things (or think of musical things!) and of course there's always 'work' stuff and of course overseeing the DVD. But domestic things like spending every morning in the park with Wally, deciding what to cook for dinner at night, paying bills, doing washing and cleaning house (yes you heard me right) are making me remember what it's like to be 'me' again.
And this experience can only allow for a deeper connection with music.

I think I told you I already have the album title. Something that will germinate for a year or more I'm sure. And with it, the concepts and the themes I want to explore. And I'm excited because it's a complex beast.

It's funny isn't it? You never really stop growing and learning. Just when you think you know it all life throws you another curve ball and you find yourself thanking God you didn't duck and swerve to miss it.
You try to catch it, bravely. Even if it means making a fool of yourself or getting hurt in the process. What you are left with afterwards is what you are left with : a lesson.
And then hopefully some wisdom.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know you've given me so much wisdom and courage to find out what I'm made of and I'm just so grateful for that.

Sometimes, when I'm having a moment; it could be looking at a sunset or listening to the sky as it cracks before the rain falls down – I feel a tinge of sadness. I don't know how, because right then I'm in a moment of bliss. But I realize what it is – it's that one day, like I did with the period of reckless abandon I enjoyed in San Francisco – I'll look back on this period and mourn its passing.

Perhaps the character of Joy, played by Debra Winger in the biopic about the life and one true love of C S Lewis, put it best when she said

"The pain then is part of the joy now. That's the deal"
(Shadowlands, 1993)

with love
D

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